Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
