I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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