I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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