Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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