you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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