nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So many bounce houses so little time
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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