1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
