Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
