I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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