he wants to bone in the snuggie
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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