so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize