Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
