I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In other news, I just burned my penis
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
