She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
