What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
