Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
