bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well I just put wine in my tea
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
