I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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