She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
