my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
