you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Everything about him screamed your future.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
