I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
