i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
