i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
