I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
