I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
