Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just had sex on a roof
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
