My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
