This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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