I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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