dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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