hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize