Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
