I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
