He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
