Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we made out on top of his cat.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
