whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I have already put on my inside pants.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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