Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
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