would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
organizing the empties. That sober.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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