Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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