he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My pussy is not your playground.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you never un-have a 4some
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
