Your mouth is God's brothel.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
