You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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