You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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