OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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