dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
