If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i out mim tonsoeep
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