this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize