We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
