farters have to be the big spoon...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize