he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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