But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
