If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize