He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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