Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
