The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
