A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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