Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
