He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
