Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize